I had the opportunity to spend an extra-special day with my Mother at The Yoga Conference & Show in a day long retreat with two of my fave Yogis, Rodney Yee and Colleen Saidman Yee (still sublimely zened out!). What made it so significant is that my Mom and I have been through the ringer this past year and our relationship tested in every possible way. And the fact that we are business partners, as well as mother and daughter, adds complexities to our daily interactions both personally and professionally that at times makes things a little or A LOT more combustible…just ask the rest of the family-ha!ha! Ironically the apple does not fall from the tree and in all honesty we are likely more similar than we are different. A fundamental difference; Mom has the capacity to move through life with a greater degree of balance between brain and heart, whilst her highly-sensitive, empath daughter dons her pink-colored glasses and wears her heart on her sleeve, well, pretty much always. Overall, when we are in sync and take care with our relationship we are unstoppable.
My Mom is a force to be reckoned with to say the least. She is brave, bold, and passionate in all of her pursuits. She maintains a fierce devotion to family, she is a perpetual learner and adventurer, and she is a tireless advocate for humanity and for the earth. Mom inspires us all daily and is an incredible example of a person who chooses to leave no stone unturned in this life. And she has relentlessly been there for me through my good, bad, and ugly of life. As an example, a few years ago I decided I was ready to come off my anti-depressant (I had been taking them for almost 15 years); with all the yoga, healthy diet, sleep and self-care I felt I was rocking life and this was the natural next step. I did so with Doctor supervision, weaning myself off slowly but did not tell anybody else I was moving through the process. A few months into it Mom approached me and asked me what was going on, something was off, was I OK? She had been noticing subtle shifts in me because that’s what Moms do. The fact was I was slowly unraveling and the moment she asked me I burst into tears and confessed I had been off my meds for some time. Her response was the best. Firstly, she told me what a great job I had done in getting through the several months without them, as for all intents and purposes I was still navigating life under some fairly tough circumstances. Very lovingly she then told me to simply go back on the meds, that doing so did not mean I failed, that no one would ever suggest a diabetic not take their insulin and this was no different. Maybe I could consider it again down the road. And then she said something to me that I carry with me always:
“Julie you and your meds are like a match made in heaven. You are your most brilliant YOU when you are taking care of yourself in all the ways that you do and that includes your meds.”
Mom has been one of my greatest champions and has also invested herself fully in my entrepreneurial endeavors. When I found myself in crisis in November and lacked the capacity to meet business demands she dug deeper and fought harder to keep it all going. She chose to do so even though we had experienced setbacks, beyond our control, that literally immobilized us. More importantly she chose to do so despite the fact I had made unintentionally hurtful decisions that impacted not only the business but our personal relationship too. In this regard I will continue to own my choices, giving myself fervently to building upon our accomplishments together and with the unwavering support of our key partners. As they say:
“The comeback is always stronger than the setback.”
Mom, the opportunity to spend the day with you breathing and being at the conference was indeed extra-special and from my perspective a beautiful step forward in our healing and recovery. I do recognize there is still work to be done. For the hurts I have imparted I am truly sorry. For the adventure that awaits us I am beyond excited. For your presence in my life I am eternally grateful. I love you.
Proudly your daughter,